Valerie: Brandon took me in, like I was family. Clearly, I was the black sleep, mind you, but it was a love that I had never known. So, Brandon… good luck to you.
David: What about Kelly?
Valerie: Kelly. Right. Um… what-what time is it?
David: It’s 10:15.
Valerie: Why hasn’t the clinic called me yet?
David: Val, they’ll call. Kelly? The bride?
Valerie: Right. Kelly. Um.. Beautiful, smart, blah, blah, blah. Everybody loves her. Well, maybe not everybody. It’s funny when you think about everything that she has. You know, I think Brandon’s always loved her. Even before they started going out. She yawns and happens to flash some teeth, and guys think she’s smiling and just kind of fall to her feet. She said a lot of things that destroyed me. But nobody calls her a bitch, because she’s being constructive in her criticism. People say I hate her. I don’t. But she bugs me.
David: Okay. You know what? The wedding’s in a couple hours. What do you say we try this again?
David: You know, Val, I think we’re doing the right thing here.
Valerie: David, you didn’t do this for me. You don’t even care about me, okay?
David: That’s not true.
Valerie: Really? I mean, do you think about me? Do you lie awake at night dissecting every moment, wondering what it was about me, what really sickened you?
David: Val, you didn’t ruin this alone.
Valerie: David, you can’t imagine what I’ve done. God, I’m so stupid! I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid!
David: Hey, hey, hey, wait a second. Val, what’s wrong?
Valerie: I slept with somebody else, David! Right after you broke up with me.
David: That’s real fast work. Congratulations, Val.
Valerie: David, he didn’t, he didn’t mean anything to me. I didn’t even know him, okay? He said he’s an IV drug user.
David: I don’t know what, what you expect me to say.
Valerie: I don’t know, that, that I’m gonna be okay. That it doesn’t matter, that he uses needles. It probably means he doesn’t share them. That… that he doesn’t have AIDS.
David: Val, I think you need to get tested.
Dylan: I’ve got to remember to lock that door.
Valerie: Are you alone. ‘Cause if not, I’ll go.
Dylan: And what if I am? Will you still go?
Valerie: Look, I just want to talk to you.
Dylan: I think you’ve done enough talking lately.
Valerie: I don’t know what you mean.
Dylan: I mean I got a visit from Jim Walsh I could live without.
Valerie: Can I help it if he got a fax about you and started nosing around?
Dylan: You don’t gotta give me crap about a fax. I know you told him that I’m broke. You don’t lie very well. I hate a liar.
Valerie: Well, you’ve been lying to everybody for months. Pretending you’re still Richie Rich. Why were you trying to hide it anyway? It was only a matter of time.
Dylan: So, what — you did me a big favor by expediting the inevitable? I don’t think so, I think you’re mad ‘cause you came in here and caught me with a girl the other night.
Valerie: You don’t know how intimidating Jim Walsh can be.
Dylan: Oh, I know exactly how intimidating Jim Walsh can be. What did he do, bully you?
Valerie: What am I suppose to do? I’m living in his house.
Dylan: Hey, stand up to him. I mean, Bren did. In fact she got pretty good there in the old end, you know, standing up to Big Jim.
Valerie: You know the Walshes were really concerned about you.
Dylan: Yeah, well, if they cared so much, tell me this, why was I never good enough for their daughter, huh? At least Brenda had the guts to call ‘em on it.
Valerie: You know, I am not Brenda! I will never be Brenda! Don’t talk to me about Brenda!
Dylan: No, you’re not Brenda. You’re just pretending to be and I think you like it. I think, I think you like living in Brenda’s house, you like sleeping in Brenda’s bed, you got Brenda’s brother and Brenda’s parents all there in that nice cozy little package, instant family!
Valerie: What’s wrong with that?
Kelly: Boy, I sure am glad we took that shortcut, otherwise we’d be lounging by the hot springs right now.
Clare: Oh, big tragedy. Kelly Taylor has to spend the night on spartan sheets.
Kelly: I can rough it with the best of them. That’s just not how this weekend was billed.
Clare: Oh, okay, I’ll make sure there isn’t a little pea under your mattress, all right?
Valerie: You know, something about this place — doesn’t it make you want to sing “Do Re Mi” and dance on the hilltops? Too bad Ray isn’t here with his guitar.
Donna: Oh, you had to mention his name, didn’t you?
Valerie: Well, at least it got you talking to me. Come on, how long are you three saints going to beat this dead horse? Forgive me, for I have sinned, okay?
Kelly: Yeah, you have.
Valerie: Well, excuse me, Miss Holier-than-thou. Didn’t I hear about a little summer sublet with Dylan when Brenda was across the pond?
Kelly: You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Dylan: You can’t tell me you believe that crap.
Kelly: I didn’t say I believed it. I was asking for your opinion.
Dylan: You want my opinion? All right, I’ll give you my opinion. It never happened.
Kelly: Well, Steve said —
Dylan: I don’t care what Steve said, Kelly, he’s going out with Brenda’s understudy. The man is not thinking with his head. He’s thinking with his zipper.
Kelly: Oh, and you don’t think that Roy Randolph has a zipper?
Dylan: I thought you said you didn’t believe it.
Kelly: I don’t.
Dylan: Let’s change the subject.
Kelly: Okay, fine.
Brandon: Bren, aren’t you supposed to be in Palm Springs with Stuey?
Brenda: Who? Thank God Dylan was nice enough to bring me home.
Dylan: Yeah, no problem.
Brenda: I’m gonna get some food.
Dylan: So did you have a good time at the chancellor’s?
Kelly: It was great. So is this why you’re so anxious for me to move out?
Dylan: Yeah, right.
Kelly: Why don’t you get some food. I’m sure you’re hungry from your long ride.
Dylan: I’ll tell you what, Bran, if you ever feel the need to borrow her again, feel free.
Steve: How, how did it go?
Laura: Hi. Oh, incredible. I got to do Maggie the whole rehearsal.
Steve: Oh, that’s great.
Laura: Yeah. Roy loved my ideas.
Steve: Really? What happened to Brenda?
Brenda: Brenda wasn’t there. Somebody called her and told her that rehearsal was three hours later. Any idea who that might have been, Laura?
Laura: I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can understand that you’re upset, but don’t take it out on me.
Brenda: You’re right. I guess I should start with my friend Steve here.
Steve: Let’s go.
Brenda: What, you gotta go and spread more rumors about me? What’s next, Steve. That I slept with Eddie too?
Steve: I never said anything that wasn’t true.
Brenda: I always knew that you were weak.
Steve: Brenda, let’s get one thing straight. I’m your brother’s friend, not yours.
Brenda: And that’s a relief.
Steve: Well, now that you have the part, choke on it, okay?
Brenda: One more thing, Laura. I may have missed rehearsal, but I am still Maggie. And you still have nothing. Except for Steve, which is kind of the same thing, I guess now, isn’t it?
Brandon: You okay?
Brenda: Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.
Brandon: Listen, I heard the rumor.
Brenda: What, was it on the 11:00 news?
Brandon: No, a special bulletin, I think. You know, “We interrupt this program to bring you the latest breaking dirt on Brenda.”
Brenda: Brandon, I am not in the mood.
Brandon: Sorry. I guess I know how you must be feeling.
Brenda: You know what really hurts? Yesterday, Kelly and I got in a big fight and Donna was there. Neither one has even bothered to call me.
Brandon: Well, did you call them?
Brenda: I’m no the one who needs to apologize. Look, Brandon, in my entire life, I’ve slept with two guys. Stuart Carson and Dylan McKay. Why all of a sudden would they believe that I’ve become the slut of CU?
Brandon: Well, Bren, I’m not saying they’re right. But you’ve got to admit, it could look a little peculiar to people.
Brenda: Tell me the truth, Brandon. Do you think I slept with him?
Brandon: Listen, Bren, after my affair with Lucinda Nicholson, I’ve got no business judging what anyone does with their personal life.
Brenda: You’re no better than Kelly.
Brandon: Hey, don’t overreact here. All I’m saying is, it doesn’t matter to me whether you slept with him or not. You’re still my sister.
Brenda: Oh, well, thanks for your support.